THE PROJECT POLICE RAID VANíS AIRCRAFT

PP REPORT BY OFFICER JIM PAYNE
CLASSIFIED MAXIMUM SECRET/PPNTK/DBR

Originally published March 1998

1. SAID OFFICERíS 14 YEAR OLD SON WAS RECENTLY CORRUPTED BY A TEHACHAPI MEMBER OF VANíS AIR FORCE WHO GAVE HIM A RIDE IN AN RV-4. WITHIN DAYS SON WAS STUDYING SPORT AVIATION. AFTER PERUSING SAID AVIATION RAG SON ANNOUNCED WE NEED A FATHER-SON PROJECT. HE LIKES THE IDEA OF AN RV-8 QUICKBUILD KIT.

2. OFFICER PAYNE (AKA "JET PILOT" TO HIS SOARING BUDDIES) DECIDED TO RECONNOITER SAID AIRCRAFT FACTORY TO VERIFY INTELLIGENCE INFO GATHERED BY SON. IT WAS A STEALTH RAID DISGUISED AS A TRIP TO THE SOARING SOCIETY OF AMERICAíS ANNUAL CONVENTION. JP PROCEEDED VIA THE CUSHIONS OF A SOUTHWEST CATTLE CAR TO PORTLAND. VAN HIMSELF IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE WILLAMETTE SOARING CLUB, SPONSORS OF THE CONVENTION, SO HE FIGURED HE WOULD BE ABLE TO INFILTRATE WITH EASE. SURE ENOUGH, IT WAS TOO EASY--THE EXHIBIT HALL WAS INFILTRATED BY AN RV-8 QUICKBUILD KIT WHICH WAS SURROUNDED BY ALL THE LATEST PLASTIC SAILPLANES.

3. WITHOUT ANY DIFFICULTY OFFICER PAYNE, ACCOMPANIED HIS FAVORITE CO-PILOT AND CREW, JACKIE, WAS ABLE TO JOIN A MASS RAID OF PLASTIC GLIDER ENTHUSIASTS ON FRIDAY PM, FEBRUARY 27TH. VANíS AIRCRAFT FACTORY WAS WELL HIDDEN IN THE FORMER LUMBER TOWN WAREHOUSES IN NORTH PLAINS, OREGON. THE ONLY HINT OF THE ACTIVITY INSIDE WAS A FADED, MODEST SIGN ABOUT 3í BY 3í ON THE SIDE OF ONE BUILDING. THE LUFTWAFFE SHOULD HAVE DONE SO WELL. THE PLASTIC AIRPLANE FORCES SURELY REQUIRE THE LATEST GPS TECHNOLOGY IF THEY ARE TO INTERRUPT VANíS OPERATION.

4. SPEAKING OF OPERATIONS THE GENERAL MANAGER REPORTED THAT VANíS HAS NOW SHIPPED OVER 7,000 EMPENNAGE KITS AND THAT OVER 1,800 RVíS ARE NOW FLYING. IN THE PAST YEAR THEY HAVE SHIPPED OVER 700 KITS. (FOR THOSE OF YOU IN RIO LINDA THAT IS 3 PER WORKING DAY.)

5. THE TOUR CONSISTED OF VISITS TO ALL BUILDINGS OF THE FACTORY. A HIGHLIGHT WAS A SPECIAL DEMONSTRATION OF COMPUTER CONTROLLED PROCESSES FOR CUTTING AND PUNCHING ALUMINUM PARTS. (ALL RV-8 PARTS COME PRE-CUT AND PRE-PUNCHED.) CIRCULAR DEBRIS IS KNOWN AS "VANICKELS."

6. OFFICER PAYNE MANAGED TO ALSO ENTER VANíS SKUNK WORKS, CLEVERLY LOCATED NEXT TO VANíS RESIDENCE A COUPLE OF MILES FROM THE MAIN FACTORY. HE PHOTOGRAPHED THE ACTUAL DRAFTING TABLE USED BY VAN TO MASTERMIND THE RV OPERATION. HE OBSERVED SUCH MODELS AS THE RV-8A, RV-8 AWAITING A 220 HP FRANKLIN ENGINE, RV-6, RV-6A, RV-3, RV-5, AND YES FOLKS THE RV-9. NO EVIDENCE OF A 4-PLACE RV WAS FOUND.

7. THE RV-9 HAS AN RV-6A FUSELAGE AND TAIL. THE WING SPAN HAS BEEN INCREASED TO 28 FEET FROM 23 FEET. THE AIRFOIL HAS INCREASED THICKNESS. THE POWERPLANT OF CHOICE WAS AN O-235 WHICH IS ENOUGH TO GET THE AIRPLANE TO 170 MPH.

8. THE RV-9 IS IN RESPONSE TO TRAINER NEEDS OF AUSTRALIAN AND NEW ZEALAND AERO CLUBS. (THEY ARE ALLOWED TO AMATEUR BUILD AIRPLANES FOR FLIGHT INSTRUCTION IN CLUBS.)

9. VANíS WILL SHORTLY HAVE THE FIRST 30 RV-8 QUICKBUILD KITS COMPLETED. PRICE IS STILL NOT SET BUT WAS FORECAST TO BE $21-TO $22K. (CURRENTLY THEY DO ONLY ONE TYPE OF QUICKBUILD KIT AT A TIME SO THEY HAVE ABOUT 30 RV-6 QUICKBUILD KITS STOCKPILED.)

10. WARNING: ALL NUMBERS IN THIS REPORT ARE FROM THE MEMORY OF OFFICER PAYNE WHO WAS UNABLE TO CONDUCT INDEPENDENT TESTS.

11. "FRIENDS DONíT LET FRIENDS FLY PLASTIC AIRPLANES." -- T-SHIRT POSTED BY EXIT DOOR.

12. OFFICER PAYNE WAS THOROUGHLY IMPRESSED WITH VANíS FACTORY FORCE. SAID MEMBERS WERE FRIENDLY TO THE MAX AND HAVE NO IDEA OF THE MEANING OF OPSEC. OFFICER PAYNE HIGHLY RECOMMENDS THAT ANY PP OFFICER IN THE VICINITY OF NORTHWESTERN OREGON VISIT VANíS. YOU WILL LEAVE IMPRESSED. YOU WILL HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE OF SPORT AVIATION.

13. HEARD AFTER THE RAID: "I ASKED MY WIFE, ĎDARLING, THE RV FACTORY IS NEAR HERE. CAN I GO ON THE FRIDAY TOUR?í SHE REPLIED, ĎCAN I GO TOO? I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HOW THEY BUILD IN THE BATHROOMS.í"

14. BILL BAINBRIDGE OF B & C SPECIALTY PRODUCTS WAS A MEMBER OF THE RAID, GIVING OFFICER PAYNE AND JACKIE A RIDE HOME IN HIS RENTAL ASSAULT VEHICLE. HIS FIRST QUESTION ON LEARNING THAT JP LIVED IN ROSAMOND WAS, "DO YOU KNOW GARY TRIPPENSSEE?" "OF COURSE, HE LIVES NEXT DOOR!" "AND WHAT ABOUT THE GUY WHO JUST GOT OUT OF THE AIR FORCE?" "OH, YOU MEAN NORM HOWELL." "THATíS HIM!"

RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED.
OFFICER PAYNE
EAA CHAPTER 1000
YOU BUILD, WE CRITIQUE.

CLASSIFIED MAXIMUM SECRET/PPNTK/DBR

-- END OF MESSAGE --


EAA Chapter 1000 Home Page
E-Mail: Web Site Director Russ Erb at erbman@pobox.com

URL: http://www.eaa1000.av.org/ppolice/vans.htm
Contents of The Leading Edge and these web pages are the viewpoints of the authors. No claim is made and no liability is assumed, expressed or implied as to the technical accuracy or safety of the material presented. The viewpoints expressed are not necessarily those of Chapter 1000 or the Experimental Aircraft Association.
Revised -- 24 September 1998